Shocking E-Bike Confession
I’ll start by saying I am a fit and healthy 43-year-old. Everything’s relative though, so let me be clear: I’m fit in the sense of ‘fitter than the unfit man’ but much less fit than the ‘ultra-fit man’. And I’m healthy in the no-news-is-goods-news, fingers-crossed way that we all are. So anyway, what I’m trying to get off my chest here is that I recently bought an e-bike. You know, like a watered-down motorbike. The bike of the unfit man. And I’m sick of feeling guilty so I’m just going to air my dirty linen here in public.
It all started in 2015 when I moved from Sale to Clitheroe in the Ribble Valley. Everywhere you look, in my neck of the woods, are these beautiful rolling hills. They were just made for riding a bike on. So, shortly after I moved here, I got my first, basic, road bike because the hills were calling to me. There seemed to be loads of lycra-clad middle-aged men knocking around too, so I thought I would fit right in. And I did. I’ve been blasting around the country roads, uphill and downhill ever since. I go on the occasional longer ride once or twice a year, but mainly it is a short 45-minute jaunt on the bike two or three times a week on my usual couple of routes.
Last year I had the idea of getting a better bike, now that I’ve been doing it a while, and I liked the idea of a gravel bike – a road bike that is a bit more hardy for going off-road and on trails too. So I started looking around and discovered that you can get gravel e-bikes. ‘What if?’ I thought.
I had to be honest with myself. I wasn’t making the most of the hills around me. I avoided the really big ones. And I avoided the longer rides too. I told myself I didn’t have the time. I told myself I didn’t have the energy. But the hills were still there, taunting me. So, screw it, I thought to myself, and I mustered up the courage to walk into a bike shop and tell the bloke that I wanted an e-bike.
My logic was, that little bit of extra power would be the catalyst to get me going further, riding longer, and tackling the biggest hills. So it all made sense. At least to me, it did. The bike-shop man was too polite to ask what debilitating disease I had that had me ordering a gravel e-bike, rather than the normal kind. But then the family abuse started.
My wife and children started challenging my decision. Worst of all, my father-in-law, who prides himself on being an ultra-fit seventy-year old, starting picking on me. He was incredulous. He refers to me as his hipster son-in-law at the best of times. And now this.
He must secretly shake his head about how his daughter ended up with a big softie like me. I made the mistake of telling a few close friends about my purchase too. I can’t repeat what they said. But their respect for me did not go up that day.
Fast-forward six months. (It took six months for the bike to arrive – that’s another story, not for now). After my very first ride, all the negativity and comments from abusive friends melted away. It was hands down the most fun I have ever had on two wheels.
I whizzed up hills like I was Bradley Wiggins. I went off-piste and along previously unexplored trails. I powered through boggy marshes that I wouldn’t have dared ride through before. I went further and longer than ever before. It was fun, fun, fun. So in case you’re thinking of getting yourself an e-bike now, let me give you my final verdict. It is science-backed and factually proven…
The longest bike ride I previously had ever done was about 100 km on a holiday in Lanzarote. I rented a bike for the day, and a sadistic guide, who lead me around the volcanoes of the island in the blistering heat. I got more than I bargained for that day. Not enough rest stops. One espresso. No cake. No lunch stop. When I got home my wife asked me where I went on my bike ride. “Everywhere!” I replied, before collapsing in a heap, of no use to no-one for the next 24 hours.
Now compare that with my first long ride on my new e-bike. I arrived home with a big smile on my face, and the energy of 10 men. I cleaned my bike. Then cut the grass. Then played football with my youngest. Then I helped my lovely wife to prepare dinner. E-bikes are the future I tell you!
